30 Things in the Next 30 Years

My 30th birthday came and went. I don’t really feel too much older, unless you count the fact that after I do step aerobics my knees crack when I walk down the stairs for the next two days. In my last blog I gave you “30 Things in 30 Years.” And while I’ve accomplished a lot in my 30 years , I also made a list of 30 things I’d like to do in the next 30 years. So here goes:

1. Get married. That’s right Mom – I said it. It’s on my list.

2. Live for a year or two outside of the US. Really anywhere but Antarctica would be okay with me. I don’t think there would be enough fleece in the world to make that comfortable.

3. Learn to play the fiddle. OK – I realize a fiddle really is a violin, but I would like to play “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” and besides it’s way more interesting to say, “I play the fiddle.”

4. Learn sign language. Currently I know the alphabet and a few bad words, but that’s it.

5. Write a book. At a minimum it would be a compilation of non-fiction short stories a la David Sedaris, but without the drugs.

6. Take a mission trip to Africa. And maybe, Mom, I’ll buy a kid while I’m there.

7. Learn a foreign language. Spanish would be practical, but Norwegian? That would be fun!

8. Learn to dive. I don’t mean scuba dive. I mean actually jump off the diving board with my arms over my head and go head first (feet last) into the water without doing a belly flop.

9. Make a gigantic anonymous donation to something. Any ideas on how to get rich first?

10. Quit biting my nails. I’ve tried – I can’t help it if the pepper flavored nail polish tastes good.

11. Fit into my prom dress. OK really I mean just lose some weight, but if I could fit into my prom dress I’d take a picture and make a Christmas card out of it.

12. Learn to fly and get my pilot’s license (and maybe spell out kproc.com in the air with my plane)

13. Go skydiving. WHEEEEEE!!!!!

14. Join a band. Maybe I can be the fourth Dixie Chick!

15. Go on a vacation without taking my laptop. Good luck, self.

16. Spend several weeks in the Italian countryside taking cooking and wine classes. Maybe I should learn to like tomato sauce first.

17. Go to Hawaii. I’d fire walk, hula dance, be an extra on Lost, the whole nine yards.

18. Compete in a reality show. Any one but The Real World. I really think I could kick some butt on Survivor.

19. Go back to school to get my PhD so I can officially be Doctor Proctor!

20. Visit Australia Mate!

21. Participate in a step aerobics marathon. By my calculations, doing step aerobics for five hours straight is equivalent to running 26.2 miles at 5 miles per hour (that’s how slow I’d run). Who wants to do it with me? We can pick a charity.

22. Go to the Superbowl (hopefully when the Cowboys are playing – probably when I’m like 80 years old)

23. Read the whole bible. Not the kids bible with all the pictures. I mean the real thing.

24. Learn to scuba dive. I hear I might suffocate, but the Australian scenery might be worth it.

25. Learn to play the harmonica, and get one of those things that goes around your neck so you can play harmonica without holding it in your hands. I know, that’s hot.

26. At least try to water ski. I know I will fall, but I should probably try at least once instead of breaking my back on that stupid tube.

27. See my nephew (and other nieces and nephews that may come) graduate from college. If they graduate from UT I might even buy them a present.

28. Play in a fantasy football league with a bunch of guys and WIN! That would make the guys at work REAL happy!

29. Buy a baby grand piano to go in the music room I don’t yet have in the house I don’t yet have

30. Find some stupid hidden talent and perform it on Conan O’Brien’s show. Suggestions?

Wow – this is a pretty big list. I better get to work!