NKOTB Review - October 19, 2008

The best place to Cougar hunt Sunday night wasn’t Duke’s or Martini Park or even Down Under Pub. It was American Airlines center, where amid crimped hair, gigantic buttons, and lots of bright pink and green, a few friends and I went back in time about 16 years (at the very reasonable price of $90 per person) to enjoy a night with our onetime FHs, The New Kids on the Block. There weren’t many teenagers (and the ones that were there appeared to be with their mother’s) and there weren’t many men (though Donnie praised those that were there as being smart and declaring they would definitely “get some” tonight). There were so few men, in fact, that the men’s bathrooms had been converted into additional facilities for the ladies. Of course the one time I visited the men’s room, I nearly gagged at the unmistakable stench of urine, but hey, it’s the thought that counts.

I can basically sum up my demeanor last night in one word – giggly. I think I laughed throughout the entire concert I was so giddy. I wasn’t expecting quite the reaction I had, although in hindsight it makes sense. I mean the New Kids really are the only good memory I have of junior high (other than the time the radio station came to school and I got to spin the wheel and won a gift certificate to the movie theater). And I was surprised that all the words to every song came back to me so quickly – I should have never doubted myself. I remember very clearly a debate I had with my mother around age 11 over the overall impact of our favorite boy bands. Somehow I don’t think I ever got her to come around to my way of thinking:

“Oh Kelly we totally felt that way about the Beatles when we were your age.”

“No Mom – this is WAY bigger than the Beatles! This is NEW KIDS ON THE BLOCK!!!!”

The guys don’t really appear to have changed much. Joey is still adorable. Donnie is still ghetto (in a super hot way). Jordan still has a ridiculous falsetto voice. And Jon and Danny were still merely backup singers. One noticeable change is that the guys (especially Joey) are no longer boys. I’m pretty sure that “Please Don’t Go Girl” was dropped about five keys since apparently, Joey went through puberty sometime in the last 16 years. But boys or men, 1992 or 2008, there will always be some definite crotch grabbing, and I mean that in the least perverted way possible.

One of the highlights came when the band disappeared from the stage and reappeared on an elevated rotating platform near the back of the floor section. With my seat one level off the floor near the back, this put me probably the closest I’ve ever physically been to Joey, my favorite New Kid. They performed four of five songs on this platform, including “Tonight,” a song they wrote near the end of their glory days that referenced several of their early hits. It was at this point that some woman threw her bra onto the stage. Jordan playfully picked it up and swung it over his head like a lasso, just as he had done countless times decades ago.

There were a few songs that allowed the guys to showcase their solo careers. While Joey’s song was most likely to be featured in a cheesy Kate Hudson/Matthew McConaughey movie, Jordan garnered much attention when while standing over a wind machine he flipped his white button up shirt back to expose a pleasantly surprising chiseled chest. And what did Donnie do at the end of his song? Pull his pants down below his boxers, duh.

(I must say that I did have a revelation last night – “I’ll Be Loving You Forever” is possibly the best first dance wedding song ever written. “There’s just so much that I want to say but when I look at you all my thoughts get in the way.” I mean seriously, how come that doesn’t get more wedding play?)

Last night I flashed back to memories of attending New Kids on the Block concerts in elementary and junior high school with friends I can’t even remember the names of, though I do remember one of the guys took off his sweaty shirt and threw it to someone in my section. I’m pretty sure I cried. It also brought back memories of the night I spent in the Four Seasons hotel lobby hoping to get a glimpse of NSync (Joey Fatone said hi to me!). Basically the whole evening reaffirmed my love of boy bands. I mean any boy band will do. Pair Zac Efron with the Jonas Brothers and I’ll buy the CD, a concert ticket, and I’ll probably join the fan club too.

The finale was the ultimate culmination. Fifteen thousand adult women waving their hands back and forth to “Hangin’ Tough,” diverting for a while into Queen’s “We Will Rock You,” then back to “Hangin’ Tough” supersized with electric guitars and sparkly lights. I’m not kidding when I say two EMTs had to come down to our section to ask if one woman was okay. But the thing about fifteen thousand 30-something year old women with fully developed lungs – well lets just say my ears are still ringing.

I, on the other hand, didn’t spend the whole night screaming at the top of my lungs, and I didn’t throw my bra on stage, but did I throw my hands in the air and wave them like I just don’t care when prompted by Donnie? Why yes, I did.