30 Things in 30 Years

Composed September 15, 2008

Here I am, on the eve of the 30th anniversary of my birth. I have a glass of Shiraz in one hand, a diet coke in the other, and the Cowboys on TV. I am reflective.

30 years is a long time, and so I started to think of whether I’d made the most of my 30 years on earth. Of course there are things I still want to do (those will be revealed in a future blog), but I made a list of 30 things I have done or accomplished that at least I can say I’ve “checked off my list” so to speak. It was hard to cut it down to just 30, but in no particular order, 30 things in 30 years:

1. I decided I wanted to play the guitar, so I did. Two guitars and countless dollars spent in lessons later, I play a mean “Silent Night”

2. I watched a guy drink snake blood in a Taiwanese market. This is an accomplishment, because it confirmed for me that I will never, ever do it.

3. I jumped off a three story cliff canyoning in Switzerland. The funny thing is that after I jumped my friend Jasmine, the one who begged and pleaded and insisted I go in the first place, chickened out and had to rappel down.

4. I went on a walking beer tour in the middle of January with ten complete strangers in Munich, half of whom I could not communicate with. And I discovered – Russians don’t just throw back vodka.

5. I danced in a televised parade. 7th grade – Foley’s Thanksgiving Day parade in Houston. We danced to Vogue. I froze my jazz hands off.

6. I ran in a race. Yes me. Yes a race. A fun run actually. I think I was about six. We ran around the football stadium. On the backside of the football stadium I realized I was in last place. So when I turned the corner toward the finish line, I started limping as if I’d fallen down and THAT’S why I was last. I have never revealed that to anyone until now. Somehow I still got a trophy.

7. I sustained a sports injury. I tore my ACL snow skiing, and I’ve been back on the slopes about five times since the surgery. Every time I’ve skied since then I have never fallen. Not even when David Daniels and Ryan Blakeney tried to take me down.

8. I bought a house and a car all by myself. Of course I did not realize I was going to have to spend two hours a day changing light bulbs.

9. I saw my brother play cello in the Texas All State Orchestra, which is cool, except that he sweats a lot.

10. I made it 30 years without being arrested. Take that Reagan!!!!

11. I learned how to tap dance. And after another glass of wine, I may just put on a little show for myself.

12. I managed to never use any kind of drugs, except for whatever you people may have slipped me over the years without my knowledge.

13. I watched the University of Texas (the greatest school ever!) win the BCS championship against USC, live in person.

14. I tried out for a reality show – The Apprentice. I could have been Omarosa.

15. I enjoyed certain delicacies in Asia, like a Green Bean popsicle in Beijing, and Pig Ear in Hong Kong (chewy!)

16. I watched basketball (March Madness) and played craps with the mafia in Vegas

17. I, along with several friends, was solicited by a swinging couple on a cruise. We politely declined.

18. I went to the Olympics (Atlanta 1996) – baseball and women’s basketball. My two favorite sports! (That’s sarcasm)

19. I “studied” abroad twice – once in Paris and once in Hong Kong. Notice the strategic use of quotation marks with the word studied.

20. I got my MBA. Or should I say that while working full time I agonized through two and a half years of mind-numbing lectures when even a 64 ounce double gulp was NEVER enough diet coke

21. I learned how to make a website and get over 104,000 hits.

22. I survived a church retreat as a chaperone for 100 junior high and high school kids at church. And I thought I wasn’t a kid person!

23. I learned to like roller coasters after being terrified when I was younger, and now it’s love.

24. I went wine tasting in Napa in a limo with my infamous ex. At least I got a trip to San Francisco out of him.

25. I somehow, someway kept my composure in my bridesmaid dress when retrieving aforementioned ex from the hospital in New Orleans after a very unfortunate (for him) night.

26. I bought a piano after not having played for eight years, just because I heard Billy Joel’s “Scenes from an Italian Restaurant” on the radio

27. I went white water rafting in Lake Tahoe. Accidentally wore helmet backwards. Flipped completely out of the boat.

28. I visited a Japanese beer brewery with co-workers and took an hour long tour that I couldn’t understand a word of.

29. I hiked the Great Wall of China in flip flops. I thought we were just going to look and take pictures, and had left my Puma’s at home.

30. I taught my two year old nephew to chant “Romo! Romo!” much to the chagrin of my Texans fanatic brother in law.

In conclusion, I was told yesterday that I am a “desperate, desperate, Cougar” And since I have an hour and a half to go, this desperate desperate Cougar is going to go play with her Snoopy Sno Cone Machine.