You Only Live Once, Right?

I've been pretty busy and don't have time to write a new blog right now, but I did manage to pull something out from the email sent folder vault. This is two emails from back in November 2006 - sent about a week a part.

Here's the first email, sent November 6, 2005. The subject was "You Only Live Once, Right?"

In case you haven’t heard, this Sunday, November 12 is the MLS Cup Championship. What is the MLS Cup Championship? Glad you asked. MLS is major league soccer, and the cup championship is like the BCS Championship of soccer, only without Longhorn-hating computers. Or like the Super Bowl of soccer, only without indecent exposure (hopefully!) This year the championship game will be played between the New England Revolution and the Houston Dynamo at Pizza Hut Park in Frisco, TX.

So you may be asking, what does this have to do with me? Well, a few months back I started taking a hip hop dance class once a week. No, I do not look cool doing hip hop, and no, I am not planning on quitting my day job. It’s simply a different form of exercise, because I get so freaking bored doing the same workout day after day at the gym. So I go to hip hop to work up a sweat, and believe me, if you are looking to expand your workout horizons, I sweat more in hip hop than I do most of the time at the gym.

Well, my hip hop teacher (the one who hangs out with Justin Timberlake when he swings through town, go figure) told us a few weeks ago that he was choreographing the halftime show for the MLS Cup Championship and needed “like 500” dancers for the event. See where this is going?

Which brings me to the subject of my email – you only live once! Yes – you guessed it. I was somehow possessed to sign up to shake my booty at the MLS Cup halftime show. Although judging from the email list, “like 500” dancers is actually less than 100, many of whom have music video credits on their resume, which is kind of scary for me. Nevertheless, I’m going to try to hang with the best, and if nothing else, get a good workout. I’ll be dancing with a “major recording artist,” although I don’t know who that is yet and how major is major. But I do know past performers have included Michelle Branch and Christina Aguilera, so we’ll see.

There was one moment of uncertainty: When I inquired about the costumes and how revealing they might be, the production company responded that there would be revealing tops, but that I could opt to wear one of the t-shirts printed to match the tops, which I think means I can opt to wear the boys costume. I felt bad asking, but I was just having flashbacks to my junior year of college when I got talked into dancing in the high school drill team alumni dance (arrive for rehearsal – learn that dance style is lyrical – practice all day – learn that costume is a lyrical dress made of spandex-like fabric – threaten to quit – Mom gets upset – end up dancing and looking like a fool anyways). Sounds like we won’t have a repeat of that sad, sad incident.

So, set your Tivo’s boys and girls! The game will air live on ABC at 2:30PM Central time on Nov. 12. Maybe you can catch a glimpse of me trying not to look like an idiot! And if there are any soccer fans in Dallas, there are tickets available at Ticketmaster starting at $35!

Well, now that I have announced it to the world, I guess there’s no backing out! Wish me luck – and try not to laugh too hard!!!!
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Now here's the 2nd email, sent November 11, 2006

I CAME
I SAW
I QUIT

Let me explain to you why you won’t be seeing me on TV tomorrow afternoon…

I arrived at Pizza Hut Park at 9AM this morning – it was sunny but with temperatures in the 40s, so I was freezing cold. I did say hi to several people that were in my hip hop class in my age range (they are mostly in their 20s). These are the people I told you about, the ones with music videos on their resume who take class six days a week instead of once a week for exercise purposes like me. Turns out these people that I knew that were close to my age had already learned the real dance to be performed in the middle of the field. So where did that leave me? I was sent to “Group B” with a bunch of twelve year olds, and we proceeded to spend the next two hours learning choreography that included the pony, step clap step clap, making a circle, and waving hands from side to side. Not exactly the excitement and challenge I was expecting.

When I realized that it wasn’t getting any better, I started thinking about several things:
a) how cold I was
b) how I could really use a nap – 7:45AM is too early to wake up on a Saturday
c) how I was going to be late for a wedding shower because of today’s practice
d) how I was going to miss church because of tomorrow’s call time
e) that I had committed to spend 18 hours of my weekend doing the pony with people less than half my age, and
f) that I just plain look like an idiot.

Now, I’m not really what you would call a quitter or someone who breaks commitments. So I really struggled with the decision of what to do. Non-Quitter Kelly kept saying I’d made this commitment and advertised it to the world, I can’t back out now. Quitter Kelly kept going back to points a through f above, and trying to think of one person on that field who would miss me or even notice if I were gone. I mean doing the pony doesn’t exactly require a special skill set that only I possess. In the end, as you already know, Quitter Kelly prevailed.

I didn’t mention to any of the choreographers I was leaving, I just told the junior high girl next to me she was going to have to scoot over a slot, and I told the guy that checked us in that I wouldn’t be returning and therefore wouldn’t be needing a t-shirt tomorrow. So what’s done is done, and now I have a free afternoon to do things I probably shouldhave been doing anyways before I went senile and decided to sign up to voluntarily make a fool of myself.

So in the end, it just really wasn’t at all what I expected. I’m sure we’ll all get a good laugh out of this some day.